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Texts From Last Night

The hits just keep on coming. :sifone:

(404):

No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
 
(304):

You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a sh!t in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
 
(425):

It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.

dolla??? :sifone:
 
jayboat said:
(425):

It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.

dolla??? :sifone:
Click to expand...

LOL. Hey I was asleep early last night and up at 5 this morning. I have biz to take care of LOL. Now tonight and 2mrw might be a diff story...... hahaha
 
North Carolina gittin' er dun... :sifone:

(336):

you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fvck one of them
 
(508):

i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
 
Aaaaaaand Florida!!! :cheers2:

(561):

I can't believe he would be such an ass
(1-561):

Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
 
(603):

Dude just bought condoms some sad fvck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
 
(847):

I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
 
(901):

I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
 
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