MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #741 (856): Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #742 (734): she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
(734): she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #743 (802): I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. f u c k.
(802): I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. f u c k.
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #744 (305): I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and s h i t diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
(305): I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and s h i t diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #745 (401): I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #746 (402): Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
(402): Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #748 (513): What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #749 (979): What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #753 (805): i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
(805): i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #754 (513): you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #755 (631): You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
(631): You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #756 (949): She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #757 (559): I just f u c k e d 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #758 (831): It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #759 (916): You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
(916): You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #760 (516): Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
