Texts From Last Night

(317): he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
 
(540): did you hook up at the wedding?
(1-540): No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
 
(207): hows the new call of duty?
(1-207): I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
 
(732): nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her CHITTING on my rug.
(732): Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
(862): yet...
 
(320): I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
 
(401): the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are ****ed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
 
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