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Texts From Last Night

I just posted two, they haven't gone on the feed yet but lets see who can guess what they are when they come up.
 
(425): Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
 
(443): and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
 
baddogz28 said:
I just posted two, they haven't gone on the feed yet but lets see who can guess what they are when they come up.
Click to expand...

(650): dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
(805): 1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.

What do I win?:26:
 
(815): Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
 
(506): Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
(1-506): Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
 
(716): why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
(860): its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
(716): i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
 
(617): This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
 
(440): why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
(1-440): you have got to be kidding?
 
(650): so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
(415): What...you let him do that?
(650): It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
 
(815): Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
 
(978): Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
(617): dude are you serious?
(978): I know you already have a pic on your phone
 
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