Thursday Titterer's

[Ratickle]

Big Busted Women...
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* can get a taxi on the worst days
* have a neat place to carry spare change
* have always been the center of the arts (art)
* make jogging a spectator sport
* can keep a magazine dry while laying in the tub
* have more negotiating power (with men shorter than them)
* usually can find leftover popcorn after a movie
* can always carry a little extra
* always float better
* know where to look first for lost earrings
* rarely have to look for a slow dance partner
* have a place to set their glasses when sitting in an
armless recliner

Small Busted Women...
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* don't cause a traffic accident every time they bend
over in public
* always look younger
* find that dribbled food makes it to the napkin on their lap
* can always see their toes and shoes
* can sleep on their stomachs
* have no trouble sliding behind the wheel of small cars
* know that people can read the entire message on their T-shirts
* know that everything more than a handful is wasted
* can come late to a theater and not disrupt an entire aisle
* can take aerobics class without running the risk of knocking
themselves out
* can hug closer, nicer, and longer

 

[Ratickle]

They finally settled the fine for Janet Jackson's Boob. In honor of that....

"Janet Jackson's current boyfriend said that Janet is holding up fine, which surprised me, I thought she was starting to sag a little." —Jay Leno

"I know it wasn't right but people act like they're so shocked at seeing a breast at the Super Bowl halftime show. If you watch the show, every commercial is for some kind of impotence drug. They finally show something that might give you a real erection." —Jay Leno

"Janet Jackson was doing a duet with Justin Timberlake when at the end, he ripped off part of her top, exposing one of her breasts. Kind of ironic, for once, a Jackson getting molested." —Jay Leno

"Janet Jackson is being very contrite and she's pretending to apologize to everyone who pretended to be offended. I think that works out. But now the official explanation is 'wardrobe malfunction.' She's blaming the whole thing on 'wardrobe malfunction.' Former President Clinton is thinking, why didn't I think of that?" —David Letterman