MacGyver Charter Member Apr 24, 2010 #1,741 (305): you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
MacGyver Charter Member Apr 24, 2010 #1,742 (419): Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
MacGyver Charter Member Apr 24, 2010 #1,743 (256): I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
(256): I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
MacGyver Charter Member Apr 24, 2010 #1,744 (630): the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me. (630): just thought you should know her name is kristen
(630): the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me. (630): just thought you should know her name is kristen
MacGyver Charter Member Apr 24, 2010 #1,745 (225): Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
MacGyver Charter Member Apr 24, 2010 #1,746 (804): Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
(804): Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
MacGyver Charter Member Apr 24, 2010 #1,747 (908): don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
(908): don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
MacGyver Charter Member Apr 24, 2010 #1,748 (720): You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
(720): You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
MacGyver Charter Member Apr 24, 2010 #1,749 (339): When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
MacGyver Charter Member Apr 24, 2010 #1,750 (818): I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
MacGyver Charter Member Apr 24, 2010 #1,751 (412): remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
(412): remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
MacGyver Charter Member Apr 24, 2010 #1,752 (204): they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
(204): they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
MacGyver Charter Member Apr 24, 2010 #1,753 (407): I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
MacGyver Charter Member Apr 24, 2010 #1,754 (256): It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
(256): It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
MacGyver Charter Member Apr 24, 2010 #1,755 (516): I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
MacGyver Charter Member Apr 24, 2010 #1,756 (315): The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
MacGyver Charter Member Apr 24, 2010 #1,757 (519): her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
(519): her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
MacGyver Charter Member Apr 24, 2010 #1,758 (386): Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
(386): Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
MacGyver Charter Member Apr 24, 2010 #1,759 (925): curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
