Texts From Last Night

[MacGyver]

(607):
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.

 

[MacGyver]

(212):
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?

(1-212):
this is Aaron, hi

 

[MacGyver]

(703):
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?

 

[MacGyver]

(727):
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.

 

[jayboat]

quality post-ho thread :reddevil:

 

[Ratickle]

(703):
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?

And your answer??????:sifone:

 

[MacGyver]

quality post-ho thread :reddevil:

This thread almost slipped to page two. It was my duty to not let that happen

 

[MacGyver]

And your answer??????:sifone:

Depends if she was fugly or not :ack2:

 

[Chris]

(303):
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around

While I have personally never done this, I think if I'd been born 30 years later...

 

[LaughingCat]

This thread almost slipped to page two. It was my duty to not let that happen

You are a good man

 

[LaughingCat]

(940):

Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.

 

[LaughingCat]

(918):

We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent






(678):

nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women

 

[LaughingCat]

(917):

you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
(720):

ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...

(917):

no it doesn't.

 

[LaughingCat]

(207):

no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.

 

[drpete3]

Just keeps getting better

 

[jayboat]

10,000 views - we're in double figures.

(504):

once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.

 

[LaughingCat]

(904):

Fvcking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada

 

[LaughingCat]

(518):

it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....

 

[jayboat]

(904):

Fvcking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada

LMAO.

(650):

I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?

 

[Madpoodle]

At least it wasn't Pengy..

(240):
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.