phragle
Charter Member
A plastic cone head conversion kit for chicks. Yes for just $5.99 you head can look mis-shapen
Headlines
Texts From Last Night
- Thread starter jayboat
- Start date
A plastic cone head conversion kit for chicks. Yes for just $5.99 you head can look mis-shapen
Spicy
Charter Member
Wobble
Charter Member
jayboat
Banned
You are not supposed to post your own text messages
:cuss: :willy_nilly:
(605): you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Perlmudder
New member
I thought that might be josh when I read that the other morning. the only thing is he does not play hockey.
jayboat
Banned
As long as there are posts like this, don't worry... this thread will never die. :sifone:
(904): i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a sh!t ton of presents
(626): He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
(404): Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
(1-404): did you answer or finish?
(404): both
jayboat
Banned
(571): I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
(951): My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
(717): I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
(941): my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
(951): My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
(717): I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
(941): my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
jayboat
Banned
(661): May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
(724): Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
(732): i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
(732): i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
(740): she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
(847): another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
(419): Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
(724): Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
(732): i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
(732): i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
(740): she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
(847): another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
(419): Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
jayboat
Banned
(325): Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
(617): you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
(570): the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
(614): I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
(817): getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
(805): I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fvcking my old High School girlfriends
(937): the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
(617): you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
(570): the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
(614): I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
(817): getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
(805): I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fvcking my old High School girlfriends
(937): the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
LaughingCat
New member
(828): I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
(630): I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
(1-630): which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
(630): I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
(1-630): which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
(586): Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
(704): you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
(630): I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
(1-630): which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
(630): I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
(1-630): which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
(586): Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
(704): you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
LaughingCat
New member
Instant Florida classic.
BTW, It's hitting mid-60's today. We're taking the kids by boat for lunch this weekend. Anyone heading to Gator's on the Pass?
jayboat
Banned
Happy New Year...
(404 ): you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
(515): once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
(978): She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
(361): Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
(404 ): you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
(515): once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
(978): She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
(361): Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
jayboat
Banned
and the beat goes on...
(205): I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
(330): He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
(918): my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
(305): I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
(502): guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
(616): Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
(205): I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
(330): He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
(918): my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
(305): I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
(502): guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
(616): Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Ratickle
Founding Member / Super Moderator
LaughingCat
New member
That site is always good for a new laugh
Dude! Sweet!
Charter Member
(305): I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Speaking from the perspecive of being a middle aged Irishman... That, my friend, is how you wake up dead...