Texts From Last Night

[MacGyver]

(513): He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma

 

[MacGyver]

(440): he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously

 

[MacGyver]

(304): enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this

 

[MacGyver]

(972): You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"

 

[MacGyver]

(810): I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.

 

[Dominic]

Oh, this just took some bigger proportions than I tought!:ack2: You started at 12:10 on page 27:cheers2: That brings ho'in to a whole new level i you want my opinion you must be waiting for this dinner impatiently

 

[MacGyver]

I've done over 700 in a single day :driving:

 

[MacGyver]

(843): so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.

 

[MacGyver]

(810): you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk biitch.

 

[MacGyver]

(856): We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life

 

[MacGyver]

(404): I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.

 

[MacGyver]

(248): so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders

 

[MacGyver]

(734): So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
(810): You're 20.
(734): IT'S BUILD A BEAR!

 

[MacGyver]

(541): Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.

 

[MacGyver]

(850): I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5

 

[MacGyver]

(443): Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.

 

[MacGyver]

(269): i think the cat found all the blow we lost...

 

[MacGyver]

(419): You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....

 

[MacGyver]

(509): im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.

 

[MacGyver]

(302): It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.