MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #661 (614): I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #662 (978): you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #663 (860): Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #664 (609): he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #665 (909): i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
(909): i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #666 (706): Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #667 (617): a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you</3
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #668 (614): Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
(614): Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #669 (305): The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #670 (513): why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
(513): why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #671 (239): At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #672 (803): When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
(803): When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #673 (253): She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #674 (206): I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #676 (309): so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
(309): so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #677 (253): i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #678 (716): a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #679 (512): you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #680 (474): Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
(474): Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
