MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #561 (503): I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #562 (415): some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #563 (419): Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #564 (+41): look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "**** me. **** me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
(+41): look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "**** me. **** me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #566 (313): I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
(313): I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #567 (910): after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #568 (507): Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
(507): Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #569 (937): he is so annoying (513): so stop sleeping with him (937): yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
(937): he is so annoying (513): so stop sleeping with him (937): yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #570 (541): for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
(541): for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #571 (845): i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #572 (619): our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #573 (551): the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that ****
(551): the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that ****
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #574 (980): i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #575 (712): I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
(712): I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #576 (540): we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
(540): we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #577 (207): I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
(207): I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #578 (609): Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
(609): Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #579 (763): I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
(763): I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
MacGyver Charter Member Nov 26, 2009 #580 (970): totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
(970): totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
