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Texts From Last Night

(603): i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
 
(+44): What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
 
(773): I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
 
(810): I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
 
(970): What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an ass hole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
(1-970): That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
 
(502): I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
 
(410): i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
 
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