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Official: Canada bashing thread
- Thread starter Davidmnc
- Start date
Bobcat
Founding Member
Hola Adam !:seeya:
ar15meister
Charter Member
:USA:
ar15meister
Charter Member
I can take all of the Canada jokes....
but being a Leafs fan is hard enough as it is..........
BBB725
Benefactor
Wrinkleface
Founding Member
Hey Bubba, U will B happy 2 know I donated 2 your cause at the casino in Petoskey yesterday!!!!:beatdeadhorse5:
Damn dice!!!!!:grouphug:
fund razor
Founding Member
Me too actually. Not enough to get my own nation or a casino or anything. Just dark hair and a drinking problem. But that could be the Irish part.
fund razor
Founding Member
It was all in fun. Thanks for laughing along.
I live like 12 miles from Canada as the crow flies. When we boat we are in Canadian waters all the time. My neighbor has dual citizenship. We joke about Canada alot here.
Heck, I sold my first boat to a Canadian with a place in the Haystacks.
Slandrew
New member
Or a Cowboys fan:blush5:Or a Browns fan.
fund razor
Founding Member
I see that the Lions don't even qualify for jokes anymore. 
They bury Canadian males upside down so there friends know who they are:rofl:
BBB725
Benefactor
Me too actually. Not enough to get my own nation or a casino or anything. Just dark hair and a drinking problem. But that could be the Irish part.
I believe I have more then enough, my mother, Mae Moon, was raised on the Stockbidge Munsee reservation, but still no casino and I really can't handle my whiskey:sifone:
BBB725
Benefactor
An American, a Scot and a Canuk were in a terrible car accident. They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all three of them died before they arrived. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the American, he stirred and opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors and nurses present asked him what happened.
"Well," said the American, "I remember the crash, and then there was a beautiful light, and then the Canadian and the Scot and I were standing at the gates of heaven. St. Peter approached us and said that we were all too young to die, and that for a donation of $100, we could return to the earth."
He continued, " So of course, I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $100, and the next thing I knew I was back here."
"That's amazing!" said one of the doctors, "But what happened to the other two?"
"Last I saw them," replied the American, "the Scot was haggling over the price and the Canadian was waiting for the government to pay for his."
"Well," said the American, "I remember the crash, and then there was a beautiful light, and then the Canadian and the Scot and I were standing at the gates of heaven. St. Peter approached us and said that we were all too young to die, and that for a donation of $100, we could return to the earth."
He continued, " So of course, I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $100, and the next thing I knew I was back here."
"That's amazing!" said one of the doctors, "But what happened to the other two?"
"Last I saw them," replied the American, "the Scot was haggling over the price and the Canadian was waiting for the government to pay for his."
Wrinkleface
Founding Member
U proved that in Miami at the show!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:rofl::boobflash:
Wrinkleface
Founding Member
Last time I got drunk on whiskey I woke up with an arrow thru my head, at least it felt that way
We should test that in KW!!!!!:hurray::sifone:
fund razor
Founding Member
Last time I got drunk on whiskey I woke up with an arrow thru my head, at least it felt that way
You just need to build up your tolerance. Once you get to a gallon a week the hangovers are much lighter. But your stomach always hurts and your digestive system shuts down.
BBB725
Benefactor
Q: How many Canadians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Twelve. Four to form a Parliamentary study committee to decidehow to solve the problem; one Francophone to complain that this joke wasn’t translated into French; one Native Canadian to protest that the interests of Native Canadians have been overlooked; one woman from the National Action Committee On the Status Of Women to say that women have been under represented in the process; one to go over the border to the Niagara Falls Factory Outlet Mall and buy a new bulb and not pay duty on it on the way back; one to actually screw it in; one to collect taxes on the whole procedure so the government can afford it; one to buy a case of Molson for everybody to drink; and one to drop the puck.
A: Twelve. Four to form a Parliamentary study committee to decidehow to solve the problem; one Francophone to complain that this joke wasn’t translated into French; one Native Canadian to protest that the interests of Native Canadians have been overlooked; one woman from the National Action Committee On the Status Of Women to say that women have been under represented in the process; one to go over the border to the Niagara Falls Factory Outlet Mall and buy a new bulb and not pay duty on it on the way back; one to actually screw it in; one to collect taxes on the whole procedure so the government can afford it; one to buy a case of Molson for everybody to drink; and one to drop the puck.
BBB725
Benefactor
A young man named Mike applied for an engineering position at a Newfoundland firm based in St, Johns. A Mainlander applied for the same job and both applicants, having the same qualifications, were asked to take a test by the department manager. Upon completion of the test both men had only missed one of the questions.
The manager went to Mike and said, "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the Mainlander the job."
"And why would you be doing that?" asked Mike. "We both get 9 questions correct. This bein' the rock and me being a Newfie, I should get the jab!"
"We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed."
"And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?"
"Simple," replied the manager. "On question # 5, the Mainlander put down, 'I don't know.' You put down 'Needer do I.'"
The manager went to Mike and said, "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the Mainlander the job."
"And why would you be doing that?" asked Mike. "We both get 9 questions correct. This bein' the rock and me being a Newfie, I should get the jab!"
"We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed."
"And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?"
"Simple," replied the manager. "On question # 5, the Mainlander put down, 'I don't know.' You put down 'Needer do I.'"
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