MacGyver
Charter Member
The latest chapter in the Brett Favre saga will play out at the Metrodome in Minneapolis Monday night. Eyes across the country will be glued to televisions waiting to see Favre face off against the Packers.
Regardless of how you feel about No. 4’s waffling decisions and his canoodling with the enemy, you have to admit, the story of Brett Favre has as many twists and turns as an M. Night Shyamalan film.
There’s just so much triumph and tragedy to choose from.
From a car accident that nearly derailed his college career … to his party-happy ways that got him run out of Atlanta … to his young gunslinging tendencies that nearly drove his first Packers coach to distraction … to his rise to the elite of NFL quarterbacks … to his Super Bowl triumph … to his status as the most beloved Packer of all time … to his dramatic performance mere hours after his father’s tragic death … to his wife’s public battle with cancer … to his waffling retirement sagas that tested the patience of his most dedicated fans … to his once-unthinkable trade to the Jets … and, finally, to the middle finger he gave Packer Nation as he hooked up with enemy No. 1 for a final (we think) grab at glory.
Favre took a once laughable Green Bay football team back to the Super Bowl for the first time since the Lombardi era. Packers’ fans owe him a lot. But all is fair in love and football. If Favre deserves the right to retire and stage comebacks to his heart’s content, then the fans deserve the right to poke a little fun. After all, he is wearing purple these days.
When it comes time to choose the actors for the inevitable Favre film, here are a few suggestions for Hollywood casting directors.
Ethan Hawke as Brett Favre
Ethan Hawke is a talented actor who’s actually only one year younger than Favre. Hawke has the boyish looks to play a young Brett, as well as the gray hairs and acting chops to portray Favre as a crotchety old man. He also has to be able to do a lot of crying on cue. We saw Hawke do that way back in "Dead Poets Society."
As Favre would say with a sniffle - "It's tough, it's tough."
Jennifer Connelly as Deanna Favre
Deanna Favre always stands by her man with class and poise. So we need a classy actress to play Favre’s love interest and wife. My pick is Jennifer Connelly.
However, if you need an older actress to play Mrs. Favre sitting on a porch swing in Mississippi reflecting on her husband’s career, I’d give Rep. Nancy Pelosi a call. Every good politician can act.
Jonah Hill as Frank Winters
They say behind every good man is an even better woman. But in front of every good QB is a trustworthy center. Frank Winters filled that role on behalf of his good buddy Brett for many years. He provided a warm place for Brett’s hands during the games and helped Brett keep bar stools warm from Ashwaubenon to Appleton during those pre-Vicodin wild years.
I know Jonah Hill seems way too young to play Winters. But if they can make Brad Pitt look like a wrinkly geezer, Hollywood can put a few years on Jonah Hill. I can picture the up-and-coming comic actor bending over and making wisecracks while playing the loveable Frankie-Bag-o-Donuts.
Dean Cain as Mark Chmura
Tight end Mark Chmura was Favre’s other good buddy from back in the day … before a teen party gone bad derailed his career. Chmura had a thing for Superman. He was somewhat of a beefy Clark Kent. That’s why I’d cast Dean Cain formerly of television’s “Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman.” I’m pretty sure Cain is available; haven’t seen him in much lately.
Cowardly Lion as Mike Holmgren
You can’t talk about Favre’s football career without mentioning Mike Holmgren, the coach that tamed (sort of) the wild child. He’s a tough one to cast. Perhaps there’s a way to teach a walrus to act. Otherwise, if you can get the cowardly lion from the “Wizard of Oz” to work out of character, you’d be right on track.
Steve Martin as Ted Thompson
I bet Steve Martin would jump at the chance to play the Packers’ deadpan general manager. The role of a GM torn between his team’s past and future just might get Martin an Academy Award nomination.
Elvis Presley as Mike McCarthy
If Elvis Presley really is still alive, someone should get him to come out of hiding and play Packers’ head coach Mike McCarthy. Has anyone else noticed some similarities between Elvis and the head coach? In a pinch, we’ll settle for one of those skydiving impersonators.
William H. Macy as Brad Childress
Brad Childress is Brett’s latest coach. Favre and others affectionately refer to him as “Chilly.” So it’s fitting that a star of “Fargo” should play the Vikings’ coach. Somebody get William H. Macy’s agent on the phone. We need him to start growing a mustache ASAP!
Miller High Life dude as Warren Sapp
Every sports hero needs an enemy. One of Favre’s biggest foes on the field was Warren Sapp. Who can forget their helmet-to-helmet confrontations? But Warren also had a goofy side. That’s why I’d cast the Miller High Life guy to play this role.
John Krasinski as Aaron Rodgers
Finally, the Packers said goodbye (a couple of times) to Favre and brought in the future of the team. So who will play Aaron Rodgers? We’ll dial up NBC’s “The Office” to check on the availability of John Krasinski (Jim). Smooth, confident, funny, future so bright.
Remember when Rodgers was forced to respond to questions about Favre's return. That smirk and a shrug is totally Jim!
If he’s not available, perhaps his Dunder Mifflin sidekick BJ Novak (Ryan) could fill the cleats of the young Rodgers.
Regardless of how you feel about No. 4’s waffling decisions and his canoodling with the enemy, you have to admit, the story of Brett Favre has as many twists and turns as an M. Night Shyamalan film.
There’s just so much triumph and tragedy to choose from.
From a car accident that nearly derailed his college career … to his party-happy ways that got him run out of Atlanta … to his young gunslinging tendencies that nearly drove his first Packers coach to distraction … to his rise to the elite of NFL quarterbacks … to his Super Bowl triumph … to his status as the most beloved Packer of all time … to his dramatic performance mere hours after his father’s tragic death … to his wife’s public battle with cancer … to his waffling retirement sagas that tested the patience of his most dedicated fans … to his once-unthinkable trade to the Jets … and, finally, to the middle finger he gave Packer Nation as he hooked up with enemy No. 1 for a final (we think) grab at glory.
Favre took a once laughable Green Bay football team back to the Super Bowl for the first time since the Lombardi era. Packers’ fans owe him a lot. But all is fair in love and football. If Favre deserves the right to retire and stage comebacks to his heart’s content, then the fans deserve the right to poke a little fun. After all, he is wearing purple these days.
When it comes time to choose the actors for the inevitable Favre film, here are a few suggestions for Hollywood casting directors.
Ethan Hawke as Brett Favre
Ethan Hawke is a talented actor who’s actually only one year younger than Favre. Hawke has the boyish looks to play a young Brett, as well as the gray hairs and acting chops to portray Favre as a crotchety old man. He also has to be able to do a lot of crying on cue. We saw Hawke do that way back in "Dead Poets Society."
As Favre would say with a sniffle - "It's tough, it's tough."
Jennifer Connelly as Deanna Favre
Deanna Favre always stands by her man with class and poise. So we need a classy actress to play Favre’s love interest and wife. My pick is Jennifer Connelly.
However, if you need an older actress to play Mrs. Favre sitting on a porch swing in Mississippi reflecting on her husband’s career, I’d give Rep. Nancy Pelosi a call. Every good politician can act.
Jonah Hill as Frank Winters
They say behind every good man is an even better woman. But in front of every good QB is a trustworthy center. Frank Winters filled that role on behalf of his good buddy Brett for many years. He provided a warm place for Brett’s hands during the games and helped Brett keep bar stools warm from Ashwaubenon to Appleton during those pre-Vicodin wild years.
I know Jonah Hill seems way too young to play Winters. But if they can make Brad Pitt look like a wrinkly geezer, Hollywood can put a few years on Jonah Hill. I can picture the up-and-coming comic actor bending over and making wisecracks while playing the loveable Frankie-Bag-o-Donuts.
Dean Cain as Mark Chmura
Tight end Mark Chmura was Favre’s other good buddy from back in the day … before a teen party gone bad derailed his career. Chmura had a thing for Superman. He was somewhat of a beefy Clark Kent. That’s why I’d cast Dean Cain formerly of television’s “Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman.” I’m pretty sure Cain is available; haven’t seen him in much lately.
Cowardly Lion as Mike Holmgren
You can’t talk about Favre’s football career without mentioning Mike Holmgren, the coach that tamed (sort of) the wild child. He’s a tough one to cast. Perhaps there’s a way to teach a walrus to act. Otherwise, if you can get the cowardly lion from the “Wizard of Oz” to work out of character, you’d be right on track.
Steve Martin as Ted Thompson
I bet Steve Martin would jump at the chance to play the Packers’ deadpan general manager. The role of a GM torn between his team’s past and future just might get Martin an Academy Award nomination.
Elvis Presley as Mike McCarthy
If Elvis Presley really is still alive, someone should get him to come out of hiding and play Packers’ head coach Mike McCarthy. Has anyone else noticed some similarities between Elvis and the head coach? In a pinch, we’ll settle for one of those skydiving impersonators.
William H. Macy as Brad Childress
Brad Childress is Brett’s latest coach. Favre and others affectionately refer to him as “Chilly.” So it’s fitting that a star of “Fargo” should play the Vikings’ coach. Somebody get William H. Macy’s agent on the phone. We need him to start growing a mustache ASAP!
Miller High Life dude as Warren Sapp
Every sports hero needs an enemy. One of Favre’s biggest foes on the field was Warren Sapp. Who can forget their helmet-to-helmet confrontations? But Warren also had a goofy side. That’s why I’d cast the Miller High Life guy to play this role.
John Krasinski as Aaron Rodgers
Finally, the Packers said goodbye (a couple of times) to Favre and brought in the future of the team. So who will play Aaron Rodgers? We’ll dial up NBC’s “The Office” to check on the availability of John Krasinski (Jim). Smooth, confident, funny, future so bright.
Remember when Rodgers was forced to respond to questions about Favre's return. That smirk and a shrug is totally Jim!
If he’s not available, perhaps his Dunder Mifflin sidekick BJ Novak (Ryan) could fill the cleats of the young Rodgers.
