A buddy of mine told another buddy of mine when they were kids to tell Mr Bailey he had a dream that hit lit a bag of sh!t, and Mr Bailey came out, stomped it out, and got sh!t all over him.
You gotta picture Mr Bailey sitting on his front porch, reading the Sunday paper with his reading glasses on. He looked over his glasses and said, "You tell that Randy Thompson I had a dream that my azz was a potato patch, and he was a little pig rooting around in it".
If I'm lying, I'm dying!
Mr Bailey said he taught his hunting dogs, "If you can't eat it, or fvck it, you pis on it!"