Wednesday Witticisms

Ratickle

Founding Member / Super Moderator
After listening to some of the crap on the upcoming elections, this seems appropriate......:ack2:



Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutron, giving it an atomic mass of 312. The 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert, however it can be detected because it impedes every reaction (that would take less than a second) to take from four days to four years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 - 6 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutron and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's masswill actually increase over time since each reorganisation will cause more neutrons, forming isodopes.This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to asa critical morass.

When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
 
A sailor, after weeks at sea, pulled into a foreign port. He immediately went to the closest house of ill repute and put $500 on the table in front of the Madame.

"I want the ugliest woman you have and two burned pork chops," he said.

The Madame replied, "But sir, for this amount you can have my loveliest lady and a three course meal."


The sailor replied, "Lady, I'm not horny, I'm homesick." :)
 
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