Tuesday funny

[45Sonic]

Sometimes it pays to be old


No one believes seniors . . . everyone thinks they are senile.
An Elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired.

Holding hands they walked back to their old school.
It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk they'd shared, where Andy had carved 'I love you, Sally.'

On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet Sally quickly picked it up, but not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, she counted the money--fifty-thousand dollars.

Andy said, 'We've got to give it back.'
Sally said, 'Finders keepers.' She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic.

The next day, two FBI men were canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money, and knocked on the door.

'Pardon me, but did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored car yesterday?'
Sally said, 'No.'
Andy said, 'She's lying. She hid it up in the e attic.'
Sally said, 'Don't believe him, he's getting senile.'

The agents turn to Andy and began to question him.
One says: 'Tell us the story from the beginning'
Andy said, 'Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday .. . '

The first FBI guy turns to his partner and says, 'We're outta here.'

 

[Tommy Gun]

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going
by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says,
"Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."

Passenger: 'Who?'

Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did
everything right all the time. Like my coming along when
you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman
every single time."

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over
everybody."

Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman He was a terrific athlete.
He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf
with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced
like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the
piano. He was an amazing guy."

Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really
special."

Cabbie: "There's more... He had a memory like a
computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew
all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat
them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a
fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman,
he could do everything right."

Passenger: "Wow, some guy then."

Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in
traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem
to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake,
and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel
good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the
wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly
po lished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a
mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."

Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet
him?"

Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank. He died.
I'm married to his f**kin' widow."

 

[Sea-Dated]

Those are great......

Don't know how I missed them yesterday....:huh:

 

[Davidmnc]

Those are great......

Don't know how I missed them yesterday....:huh:

I do!

 

[HiZ]

Dude, whate about thursday