MacGyver Charter Member Jun 23, 2010 #1,781 (208): aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
MacGyver Charter Member Jun 23, 2010 #1,782 (980): You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
(980): You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
MacGyver Charter Member Jun 23, 2010 #1,783 (217): Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the **** home to drink by myself.
(217): Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the **** home to drink by myself.
MacGyver Charter Member Jun 23, 2010 #1,784 (715): apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
(715): apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
MacGyver Charter Member Jun 23, 2010 #1,785 (716): You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
MacGyver Charter Member Jun 23, 2010 #1,786 (862): Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
MacGyver Charter Member Jun 23, 2010 #1,787 (910): For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
MacGyver Charter Member Jun 23, 2010 #1,788 (775): I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
(775): I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
MacGyver Charter Member Jun 23, 2010 #1,789 (617): ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
(617): ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
MacGyver Charter Member Jun 23, 2010 #1,790 (717): how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way (1-717): you don't.
MacGyver Charter Member Jun 23, 2010 #1,791 (651): I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
(651): I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
MacGyver Charter Member Jun 23, 2010 #1,792 (978): So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
MacGyver Charter Member Jun 23, 2010 #1,793 (807): I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
MacGyver Charter Member Jun 23, 2010 #1,794 (561): Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
MacGyver Charter Member Jun 23, 2010 #1,795 (516): You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
(516): You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
MacGyver Charter Member Jun 23, 2010 #1,796 (336): I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
MacGyver Charter Member Jun 23, 2010 #1,797 (301): Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
MacGyver Charter Member Jun 23, 2010 #1,798 (585): He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
MacGyver Charter Member Jun 23, 2010 #1,799 (913): Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
(913): Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
MacGyver Charter Member Jun 23, 2010 #1,800 (989): I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
