Texts From Last Night

[LaughingCat]

(610):

Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.

 

[LaughingCat]

(401):

Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'

 

[PARADOX]

me either. :willy_nilly::willy_nilly:

omg +1

 

[jayboat]

Page 2 again. . . WTF

This thread needs a reliable wing man. :toetap05:

(336):
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.

(814):
My cha cha got a haircut

(724):
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf

(513):
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...

(1-513):
God I fvcking love America.

 

[LaughingCat]

Alright, we're taking the team approach. Goals:

1. No duplicate posts
2. Identify any self-depricating texts that could have come from Stecz
3. Keep this thread on page one.


(718):

did you know they named a movie about you and your partner?
(917):

oh, what is that?

(718):

The Unfvckables.

 

[LaughingCat]

(309):

So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.





(973):

I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a ****ing relationship.

 

[LaughingCat]

Example of rule #2:

(925):

Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself, gay?

 

[LaughingCat]

(937):

Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal

 

[drpete3]

Spectacular!!!!

 

[LaughingCat]

(412):

its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.

 

[LaughingCat]

(270):

I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?

 

[LaughingCat]

(571):

You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
(703):

I don't even know what potassium is.

 

[MacGyver]

(368):
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.

 

[MacGyver]

(314):
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.

 

[MacGyver]

(516):
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants

 

[MacGyver]

(578):
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm

 

[MacGyver]

(617):
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.

 

[MacGyver]

(954):
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose

 

[MacGyver]

(832):
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.

 

[MacGyver]

(256):
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.