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Texts From Last Night

(417): So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Phuck yes.
 
(925): Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
 
(919): anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
 
(301): We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
 
(410): remember when mike pizzed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
 
(856): in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
 
(407): I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
 
(720): just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to phuck that girl's life
 
(740): Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
 
(216): ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
 
(847): Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
 
(201): i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
 
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