Sunday Snickers

[Ratickle]

There was a Minister whose wife was expecting a baby.

The Minister went to the congregation and asked for a raise.

After much consideration and discussion, they passed a rule that when the Minister's family expanded, so would his pay check.

After five or six children, this started to get expensive.

The congregation decided to hold a meeting again to discuss the Minister's pay situation.

You can imagine there was much yelling and bickering.

Finally, the Minister got up and spoke to the crowd, "Having children is an act of God!"

In the back of the room, a little old man with a full beard stood up, and in his frail voice said... "Snow and Rain are also 'acts of God', but when we get too much, we wear rubbers!":sifone:

 

[Ratickle]

Is God Real?


An atheist professor was teaching a college class at Alabama and he told the class that he was going to prove that there is no God.

He said, "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you 15 minutes!"

Ten minutes went by.

He kept taunting God, saying, "Here I am, God. I'm still waiting.":toetap05:

He got down to the last couple of minutes and a big 240 pound football player in the class walked up to the professor, hit him full force in the face, and sent him flying from his platform.

The professor struggled up, obviously shaken and yelled, "What's the matter with you? Why did you do that?":toetap05:

The football player replied, "GOD WAS BUSY; HE SENT ME!":sifone:

 

[Ratickle]

The Sermon

A visiting minister waxed eloquent during the offertory prayer.

He began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face,"Without you we are but dust... "

He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter(who waslistening!) leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, "Mom, what is butt dust?"

 

[old377guy]

"a moving butt gathers no dust"

 

[rschap1]