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Stupid Boat Ramp Stories

First twin my cousin and I had was a 27 Sea Ray w/ twin 4 bangers - roller trailer - big electric winch on front. turned it loose on the ramp and she slid like the dikkens when we rolled down the ramp... just a small scrape on the keel - but funny as hell if you were sitin in the Capt's seat - which I was.

- Riverside Inn, Sunday evening in the summer, a couple of guys I know had been runnin around in a pontoon and 18ft bowrider having a few cocktails throughout the day w all their friends. The ramp is two wide so both go to load at the same time - between the bs that was flyin from their lips and the bs from the crowd on the patio above f'n with 'em - they tried to put the wrong boat on the wrong trailer. Pontoon nearly landed in the back of the guys truck ... pretty damn funny cause we knew what belonged where.

Uno mas - a friend of mine who turns wrenches as well (name withheld) rigged a 27 Fountain Center console years ago w Counter Rotating Mercs. All new hydraulic steering to boot. I drop by one afternoon before hitting the river and this person and a low life I know are sitting in a couple of lawn chairs having a cold one waiting on the owner to show up for the maiden voyage after the re-rig. Me bein the a$$ I am asked if they ran it or anything yet - "Nope!" "No need to!" "Been doin this 20 yrs!" blah blah blah

So we go to Riverside and have a seat on the patio overlooking the above mentioned two boat wide ramp and wait for them as I was going to be a nice guy and follow them "just in case" something was to happen.....

Needless to say she was a ***** to get off the trailer - steering hooked up backwards and the shifters weren't set for Counter Rotating - so one was in Forward and one in Reverse and turning to wrong way the whole time......

So much for no test run ........dumba$$
 
Against my better judgement I took a buddy of mine to a local lake on a stupid busy Sunday aftternoon in July. I launched and on the way to park happened to notice a 30ish ft. bridged cruiser waiting in the launch line. Upon walking back to the ramp I see a bunch of people crowded around the ramp and some very tilted antennas high up in the air. Roller bunk trailer + all straps removed = one boat sitting on concrete 15 feet from the waters edge. We later heard that the owner used the deer catcher on the front of his truck to shove the boat down into the water so he could winch it back onto the trailer.
 
One of the first times I took my then girl friend now wife out on a date we had lunch in Wrightsville Beach NC. After lunch I told her I was going to take her to the funniest place on earth. SO we went to the Wrightsville Beach public boat ramp! They even have spectator parking right next to the ramps so you can see it all up close and never leave the air conditions comfort of your car. She looked at me like I was NUTS! I told her to give it 15 minutes!!

Sure enough about 5 minutes later here comes Mr. Brain Surgeon!! He has his 16ft bow rider loaded down with camping gear and two large dogs. He had his wife/girl friend holding the bow rope and all the straps removed!! Well you know what happened next…….yep……he dropped it on the ramp. But that’s not the best of it! Mr. Brain Surgeon assesses the situation and decided the best thing to do is push the boat down the ramp into the water!! Oh yea, the ramp is cross cut in two different direction fro traction, so it’s VERY course!!! So he gets a couple people to help him push the boat the 10 or so feet down the ramp to the water. I did not participate! They get it in the water. The line of scraped off fiberglass clearly shows where the boat had been sitting, and the path it had taken to be pushed to the water! What does Mr. Brain Surgeon do next……..Why what else would he do? He gets in the boat with is family and heads to Masonboro Island for a long week end of camping. Never mind putting it back on the trailer and at least inspecting the bottom! I hope he had a good bilge pump or at least a large bucket!!!

My wife is now an avid boat ramp watching fan!!!
 
Scarab KV said:
My biggest dock blunder was with my 30' Chaparral Villain. Bought it in the Nov 89, took one test run and winterized it.... now the long wait for Spring.
Spring arrives, the boat comes out of storage and off to the local landing we go. Back then there were only two other go fast boats on our waters.... two Scarab IIIs and my Villain made three. Thru hull exhaust at the time was almost as rare. :(
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Where were you boating in 99?
 
Impatience at the ramp is a killer. Unpreparedness is another one. Hustling to be courteous ranks up there as well.

I've left the drain plug out myself- and the truck was already parked. Had to run back, find the spare in the glovebox, then go diving to get it in.

But my favorite ramp story was taking the Jetskis on vacation. We were at Hilton Head- the only public ramp is 2 1/2 lanes wide anf these clowns managed to get their F150 and their 23' CC fishing boat blocking all of it. Then they decided to get the cover off, get the coolers from the other truck and load them, etc. I finally get pissed and decide to show off my proficiency at backing the trailer in. I was doing just fine- until the left side of the trailer disappeared. The ramp wasn't full-width all the way down. I jumped out and floated the skis off and took a look- I was pretty hot by then. I figured I could just ease out. It was working until the spring's U-bolts caught the ramp and tore the axle out. Ended up having to go buy a complete new trailer.
 
Two summers ago I backed my trailer COMPLETELY off the ramp without knowing it...I later found out that only one of the three lanes on the ramp was long enough for my boat....later. Well, the boat floated free without a problem, of course, but when I jumped back in the truck and pulled the trailer out, that front axle whacked the concrete pretty good. I just remember hearing a loud bang and felt the truck jerk, but I didn't really think anything of it, and just parked the rig and ran back to the boat. When I went back later in the day to grab the trailer, it looked like somebody had rear-ended it...all the lights were blown out and hanging by the wires, and the front axle was kinked about 2 inches further back on the left side than the right...brace tore, but didn't break, or I'd have lost the whole thing. Oops.
 
Chris said:
Impatience at the ramp is a killer. Unpreparedness is another one. Hustling to be courteous ranks up there as well.

I've left the drain plug out myself- and the truck was already parked. Had to run back, find the spare in the glovebox, then go diving to get it in.

But my favorite ramp story was taking the Jetskis on vacation. We were at Hilton Head- the only public ramp is 2 1/2 lanes wide anf these clowns managed to get their F150 and their 23' CC fishing boat blocking all of it. Then they decided to get the cover off, get the coolers from the other truck and load them, etc. I finally get pissed and decide to show off my proficiency at backing the trailer in. I was doing just fine- until the left side of the trailer disappeared. The ramp wasn't full-width all the way down. I jumped out and floated the skis off and took a look- I was pretty hot by then. I figured I could just ease out. It was working until the spring's U-bolts caught the ramp and tore the axle out. Ended up having to go buy a complete new trailer.
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I can’t believe I am telling YOU this……..patients is a virtue my friend!!!:seeya:
 
Was helping my father load his 'battleship' on the trailer for the regular monthly servicing. He asked if I wanted to drive the boat or the Navigator to the ramp. Judging by the water temp, I opted to stay dry in the boat.

I pull up to the ramp, which is fairly steep. the tide was low so he was backed down pretty far. As I am approaching, he walks down to the winch to pay out some cable. Now, you have to remember, my father is almost 300#, was a great athlete in HS and college, but hasn't run since I was 6 (30 years ago). Within a blink, his legs are in the air and he's flat on his back, sliding towards the water. I absolutely bust a gut.

As I ease onto the trailer, he kept bragging, "did you see how I kept my head from hitting the pavement?"

"Daddy, your ass is wet. I'm driving the car."
 
For some reason my brother always opens his truck door to back his boat in the water. So one day he shows up at work and the end of the front fender and the begining of the drivers door was and crunched bad. When I ask what happen he said the door caught on a post by the launch ramp and opened the door over 90 degrees. Never opened his door after that:biggrinjester:
 
Magicfloat said:
In 1987 I had a Jeep Grand Waggoneer,worst car I ever owned. Had constant electrical problems,many times at nite the headlites would go out,but the worst was the wipers would hardly ever work when it rained. One day I backed an 18'Donzi down the ramp,put Jeep in park,got out to unhook the boat. As I stepped out it somehow came out of park and slowly rolled into the water.Fortunately the boat floated free. I watched as the Jeep began the sink,and just before it went under,the wipers came on :)
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Hahahaaa. :D
 
Scarab KV said:
I left my plug out one time...got over to the boat landing, sat in line for 20 minutes watching the entertainment until our turn. Halfway down the ramp I realized I hadn't put it back in....pulled back out and left. We only live 5 blocks away, so 10 minutes later I get to sit in line again.... good thing they weren't charg'n for the entertainment.

My biggest dock blunder was with my 30' Chaparral Villain. Bought it in the Nov 89, took one test run and winterized it.... now the long wait for Spring.
Spring arrives, the boat comes out of storage and off to the local landing we go. Back then there were only two other go fast boats on our waters.... two Scarab IIIs and my Villain made three. Thru hull exhaust at the time was almost as rare. Needless to say, anytime a boat with that Cigarette/Drug Runner look (thank you Miami Vice) pulled into a dock, a crowd would gather.... instant celeb. That day was no different except instead of being part of the crowd of onlookers, my friend Mark and I were the center of attention and about to have a humbling experience.
The landing has 8 ramps and all were in use.... busy day.
We pull into line and start prep'n the boat.... a crowd starts to gather.
A ramp opens and I back in.... the crowd gets larger.
All eyes are on us and I'm think'n.... I may just be the man.
After a little production of check'n things over I fire number one.... the crowd is pleased.
After a very obvious check of the gauges, I fire number two.... the crowd is in awe and
I'm Don Frick'n Johnson.
After another important check of the gauges I raise the electric engine hatch to make a visual check. Like a flight crew on a fighter jet, I check everything so the crowd has plenty of time to check out those big Black monsters.
Now it's time to give the crowd the show they've been wait'n for.
I slide the shifters into reverse, ease the throttles and....nothing. :huh:
Hmm...drives must not have engaged right. (first boat with sticks)
I shift back to neutral, shift into reverse again, ease the throttles.... nothing...WTF
I try one more time and still nothing.... the crowd looks concerned.
Out of desperation and pride on the line I give the throttles a nudge and the boat creeps ever so slightly...forward.

Oh...by the way, did I mention that I had taken the props off for winter storage and put them back on prior to heading for the landing?

Yup, that's what I did all right.

Are ya start'n to see a pattern here?

I shift to forward, ease the throttles a bit and sure enough we start to back off the bunks.... the crowd looks pleased again.
I give Mark a "How do we bullsh!t our way out of this one" look and with my best poker face (which sucks at best) I announce to Mark over the rumble of those big Black bastids that are drawing all this stupid attention, I don't like how sloppy the shifters are work'n and want to put it back on the trailer to tweek'm..... the crowd is disappointed.
Back on the trailer, we head for a discrete corner of the lot to swap the props.:leaving:

You guessed it…. the crowd followed. :(
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Too funny. :D :D
 
One thing I absolutly can not fuking stand is the idiots who spend half an hour waiting in line to launch only to pull onto the ramp then get out and remove all canvas and tie downs/ install drainplug. Then proceed to load 3 screaming kids, a cooler, 2 backpacks, a tube, towline, dog, sunscreen, fishing rods and towels ONE PIECE AT A TIME. Into the goddamned boat before backing into the water. Only to find out they have a dead battery.

If tazing theese people was legal the world would be a better place.
 
Tony said:
One thing I absolutly can not fuking stand is the idiots who spend half an hour waiting in line to launch only to pull onto the ramp then get out and remove all canvas and tie downs/ install drainplug. Then proceed to load 3 screaming kids, a cooler, 2 backpacks, a tube, towline, dog, sunscreen, fishing rods and towels ONE PIECE AT A TIME. Into the goddamned boat before backing into the water. Only to find out they have a dead battery.

If tazing theese people was legal the world would be a better place.
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Well put :rofl::rofl::rofl:
 
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