Saturday Snorters

[Ratickle]

An elderly couple was on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard. They searched for days and couldn't find her so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something.

Three weeks went by and finally the old man received a fax from the boat.

It read: "Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife dead at the bottom of the ocean. We hauled her up to the deck and attached to her very most private part was an oyster and inside it was a pearl worth $50,000...please advise."











The old man faxed back: 'Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap.'

 

[Ratickle]

[B]A married couple were out fishing [/B]

A married couple were out fishing and when they started the motor to return ashore, some leaking fuel exploded and the woman's face was severely burned.

In great pain, the woman was taken to hospital where the doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin.

However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honour their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.

After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!

Finally, she was at last sitting in the boat again, alone with her husband.

She was overcome with emotion at the thought of his unselfish sacrifice.

She said , 'Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me, there is no way I could ever repay you'


:kiss:


:kiss:


:kiss:


:kiss:


:kiss:


:kiss:

'My darling,' He replied, ' I get all the thanks I need everytime I see your mother kiss you on the cheek. '

 

[Blue Oval]

A senior couple won a cruise, on the day they left the wife left her hearing aids on the table. When they made it to the ship after a long day of travel they made their way to the room. Bunkbeds? The husband turned and said up or down? Wow, his wife made love to him like they were teenagers. So for the next 5 nights he would say the same thing at bed time. Wow!! They got home and she was so happy to get the hearing aids back in she had forgot! Bedtime came and he said up or down, she looked at him, what are you talking about, he said on the boat you made love to me when I would say that! I thought you were saying F*ck or drown!

 

[Ratickle]

A senior couple won a cruise, on the day they left the wife left her hearing aids on the table. When they made it to the ship after a long day of travel they made their way to the room. Bunkbeds? The husband turned and said up or down? Wow, his wife made love to him like they were teenagers. So for the next 5 nights he would say the same thing at bed time. Wow!! They got home and she was so happy to get the hearing aids back in she had forgot! Bedtime came and he said up or down, she looked at him, what are you talking about, he said on the boat you made love to me when I would say that! I thought you were saying F*ck or drown!

I snorted on that one.......