My favorite lines I hear in the boat business. What are yours/?

[MOBILEMERCMAN]

Had a marina friend of mine call about a boat that sunk. I spoke to the nice lady that kept telling me how nice a boat it is. All I can think of is it just sunk. She bought it while floating in a slip. Had her friends tune it up and all. It had not been pulled in at least 5 years according to the marina.
She asked me, How did it sink, I don't understand how does a boat sink?

 

[MOBILEMERCMAN]

One of my favorites I here from people that just recently bought a used boat.
The guy I bought it from just had everything done.

It can mean anything from he just changed to engine oil to he just put a water pump impeller in. Maybe everything meant to him it got a new battery.

 

[MOBILEMERCMAN]

I just pulled my boat out of the barn after 4 or 5 years. I put a new battery in and it still wont start. How much for a tune up?

 

[MOBILEMERCMAN]

After trying to explain to a new customer all the things his new to him, couldn't pass it up great deal of a boat with shiny mag wheels on the trailer, boat needed he asked.
Can't you just put lube in the drive so I can take my girlfriend out for a ride?

I responded , you had me look at this for you because all the gear lube leaked onto your driveway.

 

[MOBILEMERCMAN]

Why do you have to fix everything? I just need it to run.

 

[MOBILEMERCMAN]

I can remember 3 quickly off the top of my head. After explaining that you have a cylinder with no compression and there is nothing I can do to make it run better short of a rebuild I've been asked

How long do you think it will run like it is?

I respond, Bring plenty of water and head up wind when you leave the dock.

 

[MOBILEMERCMAN]

From a old Miami Vice episode, Crockett tells Tubbs, " Don't worry about the race, I got my mechanic installing a turbo on the scarab tonight. "

 

[Ratickle]

One of my favorites I here from people that just recently bought a used boat.
The guy I bought it from just had everything done.

It can mean anything from he just changed to engine oil to he just put a water pump impeller in. Maybe everything meant to him it got a new battery.

Or he washed and waxed it.....

 

[Ratickle]

Why do you have to fix everything? I just need it to run.

That's a very reasonable question......:rofl::rofl::rofl:

 

[Ratickle]

The alarm keeps sounding. All the gauges look fine so I cut the alarm wire.

I don't cut them. I just disconnect them.....:sifone:

 

[rschap1]

Words to live by

 

[Ratickle]

The three things asked every time you fill one up on land.

How fast does it go?
How much did it cost?
What kind of mileage do you get?

 

[fund razor]

Ok, following Paul's hijack...

Gas station walk up interviews:
"Do you fish with that?"
"No. I buy fish at the store."

"How fast does it go?"
"Nobody knows."

"How much did it cost?"
"About a hundred grand more than I expected."

"How big is that?"
"It thinks it's a 41."

"What do you do for a living?"
"I hold a sign at a highway exit two days a week."

When it's idling, a lot of people are fascinated by the cooling dumps. Four big, dominant streams of pee.

 

[Ratickle]

When did you move up to 2 days a week?

 

[Bobcat]

No matter what task I' performing ....The Home Owner "I Could do it Myself, but I'm too busy" Then They watch You Work the whole time.

 

[jrdonnellyjr]

We had that thread here recently.

:cuss::beatdeadhorse5:

 

[jrdonnellyjr]

"If you don't fish in it and you don't pull tubers with it then what do you do with it ?"

 

[rschap1]

 

[fund razor]

When did you move up to 2 days a week?

Tracy gave me one of his days.

 

[MOBILEMERCMAN]

The three things asked every time you fill one up on land.

How fast does it go?
How much did it cost?
What kind of mileage do you get?

Wow that looks fast. You run that on the lake?
I don't see any rod holders. Its a waste if you can't catch fish on it.