Monday Merriments

[Ratickle]

A language instructor was explaining to her class that French nouns, unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine.

Things like ‘chalk’ or ‘pencil,’ she described, would have a gender association although in English these words were neutral. Puzzled, one student raised his hand and asked, “What gender is a computer?”

The teacher wasn’t certain which it was,and so divided the class into two groups and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine. One group was comprised of the women in the class, and the other, of men. Both groups were asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.

The group of women concluded that computers should be referred to in masculine gender because:

1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.:_boobies:

2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.:huh:

3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.:beatdeadhorse5:


The men, on the other hand, decided that computers should definitely be referred to in the feminine gender because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.:huh:

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.:iagree:

3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.:blush5:

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories.:dupe:

 

[Ratickle]

Bill Gates croaked it and met his maker, and God said, “Well, Bill, I’m really confused on this one. I’m not sure whether to send you to Heaven or to Hell. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every home in the world, and we even have them up here now, yet you created that ghastly Windows. I’m going to do something I’ve never done before. I’m going to let you decide where you want to go.

Bill Gates said, “What’s the difference between the two?”:huh:

God said, “It might help you decide if you took a peek. I’ve set up webcams at both places. Shall we look at Hell first?”

Bill was amazed. He saw a clean, white sandy beach with clear blue waters. There were thousands of beautiful men and women:_boobies: running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining and the temperature was perfect. “This is great!” said Bill. “If this is Hell, I can’t wait to see Heaven.”

God said, “Here then” and clicked on his mouse and they viewed Heaven. Bill saw puffy white clouds in a beautiful blue sky, with angels drifting about playing harps and singing. It was nice, but surely not as enticing as Hell.

Bill thought for only a brief moment and rendered his decision. “God, I do believe I would prefer to go to Hell.”

“As you wish,” said God.

Two weeks later, God decided to check up on the late billionaire to see how things were going. He found Bill shackled to a wall, screaming amidst the hot flames in a dark cave. He was being tortured by demons with pitchforks:reddevil:.

“How ya doin’, Bill?” asked God.

Bill responded with anguish and despair, “This is awful! This isn’t what we watched at all! What happened to the beach and the beautiful women:_boobies: playing in the water?”:huh:



“Oh, that,” said God. “That was the screen saver…”

 

[rschap1]

SCREEN SAVER ! ! !