Lord Jesus Christ hit by Mass. car

[BBB725]

Lord Jesus Christ (his real name) hit by Mass. car


May 7, 8:34 AM (ET)

NORTHAMPTON, Mass. (AP) - The victim might have forgiven the woman who ran him down in a Massachusetts crosswalk, but police haven't.
Police say a Pittsfield woman has been cited for running down a man named Lord Jesus Christ as he crossed a street in Northampton on Tuesday.
The 50-year-old man is from Belchertown. Officers checked his ID and discovered that, indeed, his legal name is Lord Jesus Christ. He was taken to the hospital for treatment of minor facial injuries.
Police say 20-year-old Brittany Cantarella was cited for failing to yield to a pedestrian in a crosswalk.

 

[fund razor]

The Jews couldn't kill him either.

 

[Tantrum]

Oh boy...can you imagine going to confession with that

 

[fund razor]

HARSH,,,VERY HARSH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I also considered this one:

"He'll be out of the hospital in three days, tops"

 

[fund razor]

Witnesses said that he was briefly mis-identified as "Jesus H. Christ" but that was just someone on the street yelling.

 

[Rich]

Happened close to my neck of the woods. Northampton definitely a "moobat" town for those who don't know the place. Anyways, thought you might enjoy some of the viewer comments posted in the local rag.

Christ will be okay. He's survived worse.

did He forgive her?

why didn't he heal himself?

Not only blasphemous, but incredibly unoriginal. Whatever happened to Seymour Butts??

He left town with Heywood Jablomy.

going to visit Mike Litoris, no doubt

He married Anita Mann...

I wonder if he yelled "Me!" when it happened.

Walking on water is apprently a whole lot easier than dodging a speeding Chevy.
I suspect fistfights broke out in the Republican newsroom on who would have the privilege of writing this story.

She nailed him, in the cross walk?

I've heard of modernization, but I never expected a big wooden cross to be replaced with a Chevy.

Now we can look forward to someone seeing a vision of Mary in the window of His hospital bed. Or will it be a Chevy bowtie emblem?

I am the mother of Brittany. This matter has really upset set her and to make national news this is bull***t. Lord Jesus Christ was not in the crosswalk bystanders pick up her bags as he/she was trying to flee the secne. So when the police got there they had conflicting statement on where Christ was. Britt car was just before the fist line in the crosswalk if she had hit he/she in the crosswalk. I find it a little strange that Christ got up and just crossed the street and was trying to walk away. My daughter is very distraught about hitting this person that she said came out of no where. It pist me off that the news makes her out to be a careless driver by hitting Christ in a crosswalk.I am just thankful both of them are ok.

And my favorite response to above comment:
big deal...."mother of brittany".....he's the son of god

 

[mosi]

Well damn......if everyone else is going to hell.......
.
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..... Speaking of Jesus........
.
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........................................:leaving:

 

[Dude! Sweet!]

The Jews couldn't kill him either.

Wait, I thought the Italians killed Jesus.

Wasn't "Jesus Christ" G.G. Allin's real first name?

 

[Rich]

Well damn......if everyone else is going to hell.......
.
.
.
.
..... Speaking of Jesus........
.
.
.
.
........................................:leaving:

Too funny...

 

[Sea-Dated]

She nailed him, in the cross walk?

big deal...."mother of brittany".....he's the son of god

:reddevil::reddevil::reddevil::reddevil::reddevil:

 

[Pat D]

Happened close to my neck of the woods.
/QUOTE]

That used to be my neck of the woods........
Rich, do you think he got to Northampton by way of the Belchertown Birthday Bus?
Are you familiar?
PD

 

[Boss460]

Well damn......if everyone else is going to hell.......
.
.
.
.
..... Speaking of Jesus........
.
.
.
.
........................................:leaving:

 

[MacGyver]

I also considered this one:

"He'll be out of the hospital in three days, tops"

:rofl:

 

[Buoy]

So, let me get this straight,

Christ was hit by a car while he was in Mass?

Was the car a Honda Pilate?

 

[mosi]

The disgusting thing....
.
.
..his nurse must have been a male because at the hospital he got ....
..... "treatment of minor facial"


.......If his nurse was a female........he might have gotten NUN.

 

[fund razor]

So, let me get this straight,

Christ was hit by a car while he was in Mass?

Was the car a Honda Pilate?

That's a good one, Pontius.

 

[fund razor]

.......If his nurse was a female........he might have gotten NUN.

Nope. Nothing. Straight face MAO.

That Honda Pilate thing was hilarious though, you gotta admit.

 

[Buoy]

That's a good one, Pontius.

Now if the Pilate was made by Pontiac, I may have a bit more to work with...

 

[Bobcat]

When He got to the hospital He handed them three nails and said "Can You put Me up for the night "?

 

[fund razor]

The fact that God has a sense of humor is not a free pass. They have to still be funny.