gerritm
New member
When I got home last night, my wife demaded that I take her
>> someplace expensive... so, I took her to a gas station...
>> and then the fight started.
>>
>> ***********************************************************
>>
>> I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
>> Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told
>> her
>> the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
>>
>> And that's when the fight started.
>>
>> *******************************************************
>>
>> After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for
>> Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my
>> driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets
>> and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I
>> was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
>>
>> The woman said, "Unbutton your shirt"
>>
>> So I opened my shirt revealing my curly siver hair. She said,
>> "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me"
>> and she processed my Social Security application.
>>
>> When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience
>> at the Social Security office.
>>
>> She said, "You should have dropped your pants, you might
>> have gotten disability too."
>>
>> And then the fight started.
>>
>> **********************************************************
>>
>> My wife and I were sitting at a table at my High School
>> reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging
>> her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
>>
>> My wife asked, "Do you know her?"
>>
>> "Yes," I sighed. "She's my old girlfriend." I understand she took
>> to drinking right after we split up those many years ago,
>> and I hear she hasn't been sober since.
>>
>> "My God!" says my wife. "Who would think a person could
>> go on celebrating that long?"
>>
>> And then the fight started.
>>
>> ***************************************************
>>
>> I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were along
>> side the road and slowly the other driver got out of his
>> car. You know how sometimes you just get sooo
>> stressed and little things juust seem funny?
>>
>> Yeah, well I couldn't believe it...he was a DWARF!
>>
>> He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and
>> shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY!!!"
>>
>> So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one
>> are you?"
>>
>> And that's how the fight started.
>>
>> **************************************************
>>
>> I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some
>> reason, took my order first.
>>
>> "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
>> He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?
>>
>> "Nah, she can order for herself."
>>
>> And that's how the fight started...
>> someplace expensive... so, I took her to a gas station...
>> and then the fight started.
>>
>> ***********************************************************
>>
>> I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
>> Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told
>> her
>> the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
>>
>> And that's when the fight started.
>>
>> *******************************************************
>>
>> After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for
>> Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my
>> driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets
>> and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I
>> was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
>>
>> The woman said, "Unbutton your shirt"
>>
>> So I opened my shirt revealing my curly siver hair. She said,
>> "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me"
>> and she processed my Social Security application.
>>
>> When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience
>> at the Social Security office.
>>
>> She said, "You should have dropped your pants, you might
>> have gotten disability too."
>>
>> And then the fight started.
>>
>> **********************************************************
>>
>> My wife and I were sitting at a table at my High School
>> reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging
>> her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
>>
>> My wife asked, "Do you know her?"
>>
>> "Yes," I sighed. "She's my old girlfriend." I understand she took
>> to drinking right after we split up those many years ago,
>> and I hear she hasn't been sober since.
>>
>> "My God!" says my wife. "Who would think a person could
>> go on celebrating that long?"
>>
>> And then the fight started.
>>
>> ***************************************************
>>
>> I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were along
>> side the road and slowly the other driver got out of his
>> car. You know how sometimes you just get sooo
>> stressed and little things juust seem funny?
>>
>> Yeah, well I couldn't believe it...he was a DWARF!
>>
>> He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and
>> shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY!!!"
>>
>> So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one
>> are you?"
>>
>> And that's how the fight started.
>>
>> **************************************************
>>
>> I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some
>> reason, took my order first.
>>
>> "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
>> He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?
>>
>> "Nah, she can order for herself."
>>
>> And that's how the fight started...
