Bobcat
Founding Member
:willy_nilly:
I've just come out of the shop with a meat and potato pie, large chips,
mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I've
not eaten for two days' I told him 'I wish I had your f**king will power'
Top tip; if you're camping in the summer and the attractive girl in the next
tent tells you that because it's so hot she will be sleeping with her flaps
open, it's not necessarily an invitation to casual sex........... Wish me
luck; I appear in court next Monday.
I got fired on my first day as a male masseur today.. Apparently the
instruction 'finish off on her face' didn't mean What I thought it did.
A fat girl served me food in McDonalds at lunch time, she said 'sorry about
the wait' I said 'don't worry fatty , you're bound to lose it eventually'
Snow in the forecast! The TV weather girl said she was expecting 8 inches
tonight, I thought to myself "fat chance" with a face like that!
I have a new chat up line that works every time!! It doesn't matter how
gorgeous or out of my league a woman might be, this line is a winner & I
always end up in bed with them..............Here's how it goes 'Excuse me
love, could I ask your opinion? Does this damp cloth smell like chloroform
to you?'
Years ago it was suggested 'that an apple a day kept the doctor away' But
since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works
best!
I've just come out of the shop with a meat and potato pie, large chips,
mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I've
not eaten for two days' I told him 'I wish I had your f**king will power'
Top tip; if you're camping in the summer and the attractive girl in the next
tent tells you that because it's so hot she will be sleeping with her flaps
open, it's not necessarily an invitation to casual sex........... Wish me
luck; I appear in court next Monday.
I got fired on my first day as a male masseur today.. Apparently the
instruction 'finish off on her face' didn't mean What I thought it did.
A fat girl served me food in McDonalds at lunch time, she said 'sorry about
the wait' I said 'don't worry fatty , you're bound to lose it eventually'
Snow in the forecast! The TV weather girl said she was expecting 8 inches
tonight, I thought to myself "fat chance" with a face like that!
I have a new chat up line that works every time!! It doesn't matter how
gorgeous or out of my league a woman might be, this line is a winner & I
always end up in bed with them..............Here's how it goes 'Excuse me
love, could I ask your opinion? Does this damp cloth smell like chloroform
to you?'
Years ago it was suggested 'that an apple a day kept the doctor away' But
since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works
best!
