Friday Funnies

[Ratickle]

I should probably save this one for Sunday, but it's a real tear-jerker......





Last week, old377guy took his grand-children to a restaurant. His six-year-old grand-son asked if he could say grace.

As they bowed their heads he said, "God is good, God is great. Thank you for the food, and I would even thank you more if Grandpa gets us ice cream for dessert. And liberty and justice for all! Amen!"

Along with the laughter from the other customers nearby, they heard a woman remark, "That's what's wrong with this country. Kids today don't even know how to pray. Asking God for ice cream! Why, I never!"

Hearing this, old377guy's grand-son burst into tears and asked him, "Did I do it wrong? Is God mad at me?"

As old377guy held him and assured him that he had done a terrific job, and God was certainly not mad at him, an elderly gentleman approached the table.

He winked at old377guy's grand-son and said, "I happen to know that God thought that was a great prayer."

"Really?" his grand-son asked.

"Cross my heart," the man replied.

Then, in a theatrical whisper, he added (indicating the woman whose remark had started this whole thing), "Too bad she never asks God for ice cream. A little ice cream is good for the soul sometimes."

Naturally, old377guy bought his grand-children ice cream at the end of the meal. His grand-son stared at his for a moment, and then did something old377guy will remember the rest of his life.

His grandson picked up his sundae and, without a word, walked over and placed it in front of the woman and, with a big smile,















he told her, "Here, this is for you.







Shove it up your butt you grouchy old bitch! ":sifone:

The End

 

[Ratickle]

Choosing a wife

A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.


The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup; buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.

The man was impressed.


The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts... She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.

Again, the man is impressed.


The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.

Obviously, the man was impressed.


The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.


Then he married the one with the biggest tits.:boobflash:


Men are like that, you know.



There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research.

This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

 

[old377guy]

I'm proud of that young man!

 

[rschap1]

Both of them were GOOD!!