Wardey
Founding Member
Got this from a buddy this am. Dave
DIVORCE AGREEMENT
This is so incredibly well put I can hardly believe it's written by a
young person -- a student.
Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists,
Marxists, and Obama supporters, et al:
We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this
latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we
tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but
sadly, this relationship has run its course.
Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and
go our own way.
Here is a model separation agreement:
Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by land-mass; each
taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides
can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy!
Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since
both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.
We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are
welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll
take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military. You can keep Oprah,
Michael Moore, Bill Maher, and Rosie O'Donnell.
We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical
companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless,
homeboys, hippies, and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms,
greedy CEO's, and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and
Hollywood.
You can make nice with Iran and Palestine, and we'll retain the right to invade
and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war
protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide
them security.
We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam,
Scientology, Humanism, and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N..
but we will no longer be paying the bill.
We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can
take every Subaru station wagon you can find.
You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing
doctors.
We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll
keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure
you'll be happy to substitute: Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to
Sing, Kum Ba Ya, or We Are the World.
We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up
poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history,
our name and our flag.
Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other
like-minded liberal and conservative patriots, and if you do not agree, just hit
delete... In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you ANWAR which one of us will
need whose help in 15 years.
Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American
P.S. Also, please take Barbra Streisand and Jane Fonda with you.
DIVORCE AGREEMENT
This is so incredibly well put I can hardly believe it's written by a
young person -- a student.
Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists,
Marxists, and Obama supporters, et al:
We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this
latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we
tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but
sadly, this relationship has run its course.
Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and
go our own way.
Here is a model separation agreement:
Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by land-mass; each
taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides
can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy!
Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since
both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.
We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are
welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll
take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military. You can keep Oprah,
Michael Moore, Bill Maher, and Rosie O'Donnell.
We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical
companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless,
homeboys, hippies, and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms,
greedy CEO's, and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and
Hollywood.
You can make nice with Iran and Palestine, and we'll retain the right to invade
and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war
protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide
them security.
We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam,
Scientology, Humanism, and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N..
but we will no longer be paying the bill.
We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can
take every Subaru station wagon you can find.
You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing
doctors.
We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll
keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure
you'll be happy to substitute: Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to
Sing, Kum Ba Ya, or We Are the World.
We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up
poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history,
our name and our flag.
Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other
like-minded liberal and conservative patriots, and if you do not agree, just hit
delete... In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you ANWAR which one of us will
need whose help in 15 years.
Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American
P.S. Also, please take Barbra Streisand and Jane Fonda with you.
