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Stupid Boat Ramp Stories

Back in around 1990 or so, we decided to take one last day on the water before it got too cold. We launched at Gravelly Point near National Airport ( a good place to watch planes and launch ramp antics) anyways got the boat in the water proceeded out for the day not really paying attention to the fuel gauge. At about 1/4 tank we decide to find fuel. Most marinas don't sell fuel after Nov. 1 so we did not have any luck. I decided that we could pull the boat back out haul it to the closest gas station relaunch and continue on our day. We go back to the ramp ( run out at the ramp) put the boat on the trailer and proceed to head out. While we were getting the truck and trailer we happened to notice 5 men getting ready to launch for what appeared to be a fishing trip in a small 16ft cuddy cabin. We get our boat loaded, strapped down and leave. We drive 15 miles to a gas station, get fuel, some beer, some munchies, and head back to the ramp ( all told about and hours time has passed). We pull down the ramp and there they are the same 5 men attempting to still launch their boat. They forgot to unhook the transom straps and have backed their truck down passed the end of the ramp and bottomed the frame of their truck out. Not being four wheel drive they were stuck, mad as hell at each other and not watching the incoming tide. I asked if I could help was told no they had everything under control. We relaunch and headed back out for the rest of the day.

Don't know how or when they got thier truck out but we never did see them on the river that day.
 
glassdave said:
i think i may have had the same slip over at Rossford.
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Yep, I was thinking Rossford also. There were always good antics going on at the ramp. Hell, there were even benches located right in front of, and facing the ramp to watch.

phragle said:
what where you worried about Dave?? 10 to 1 he went the wrong way around the little island and ran it aground and was stuck there for a long time.
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I know that water too well, because I know exactly where you are talking about.
 
I can just hear Alyson Hannigan saying "and this one time, at boat ramp...."

hannigan-alyson-photo-alyson-hannigan-6200298.jpg
 
Buoy said:
I know that water too well, because I know exactly where you are talking about.
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Same here. :D
In fact... I have stayed out of there for the most part. It's on my "watch" list, like.... the Grassy Island cut and well... the entire Ottawa River. :D
 
fund razor said:
Same here. :D
In fact... I have stayed out of there for the most part. It's on my "watch" list, like.... the Grassy Island cut and well... the entire Ottawa River. :D
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Grassy Island cut I was always cool with - but it's been a few years and it may have changed.
you need to stay uncomfortably close to the island to the east, it feels weird and scary going through, but you could make it about 100-150 ft off the island - yes, that close.
Ottawa river - there is a submerged school bus that has prop marks from a 21p stainless cleaver that I turned into contemporary artwork.
 
Osbourne boat ramp.....this ramp takes 6 at a time (3 pairs of 2 with very nice piers). The space between finger piers is so wide I once back my 21 ft runabout trailer right down the center between 2 boats since they kept coming into the docks and not letting me put my trailer in the water to retrieve my boat that was sitting off to the side....
anyway, last summer I'm pulling up in the 382 to one of the finger piers (I no longer tie off to the side and go get the truck) and a old 25 ft cuddy cabin has just come in. As I'm tying my boat off an old guy behind the wheel of the cuddy gets the boat crooked between the finger piers....trying to correct it, he makes it worse. Getting nervous, he hits the gas harder and harder. The guys in his tow vehicle are yelling at him to sit still since he is now 90 degrees turned between finger piers, he nails the gas and runs the front of the boat up on the finger pier. Then slams it in reverse WOT and nails the other finger pier. So hard, he knocks the teak swim platform off the boat!!!!! (thankfully nobody was tied up beside him)....he finally shuts the boat off. They looked like the guys out of the movie "Deliverance". I'm convinced they were drunk as hell and all 3 of them were speechless!

A co-worker/ex-boater has packed a cooler and a lawn chair and spent a Saturday at this boat ramp twice in the last couple years......claims it's great (and cheap) entertainment.
 
About 1970 or so I had what I thought was the fastest boat on the river,a 15' Checkmate/135 Merc. Now remember,this was a long time ago,and on the river,in-line 6 Mercs ruled.I ran low-mid 60's,enough to beat the guys that came to the launch every weekend. One Sunday,a new boat came to the launch.It was an Allison( feared by most of us),but had a V-4 Evinrude (a joke to most of us)He shut off his motor and coasted into the dock by the launch. He said his shift cable had just broken,he had no neutral or reverse,but would like to race. We started out.I planed off quickly as he climbed on the deck of the Allison as the motor overreved.By the time he got on plane,I was gone. But shortly I looked behind and here he comes,blew by me with at least 20 mph on me. He didn't stop,just kept going,I went back to the launch as my friends tried to figure out what happened.I found out years later what had happened.He had a very rare Evinrude factory race motor with a race lower unit like a SSM Merc,no gearshift,no shift cable.I see him at our Bham Boat Show every year,nearly 40 years later,and we still laugh about how he conned me.He still has the boat and race motor,hasn't run it in years,but I have a surprise for him this year.My 1968 Switzer/125 Merc/SSM lower, may be a match for his old Ally. Can you imagine,2 old guys,2 old boats,and a grudge match from 40 years ago? Stay tuned.
 
Magicfloat said:
About 1970 or so I had what I thought was the fastest boat on the river,a 15' Checkmate/135 Merc.
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WOW, I grew up in those boats! My Dad had a 15' and a couple of 18's. My uncle had a 15' or 2. I was way younger back then, but remember those well. Always loved to go out in the boat. Those got run on Lake Erie on an almost daily basis during the season. Thanks for the memories.

OK, continue on with the ramp stories.
 
Magicfloat said:
About 1970 or so I had what I thought was the fastest boat on the river,a 15' Checkmate/135 Merc. Now remember,this was a long time ago,and on the river,in-line 6 Mercs ruled.I ran low-mid 60's,enough to beat the guys that came to the launch every weekend. One Sunday,a new boat came to the launch.It was an Allison( feared by most of us),but had a V-4 Evinrude (a joke to most of us)He shut off his motor and coasted into the dock by the launch. He said his shift cable had just broken,he had no neutral or reverse,but would like to race. We started out.I planed off quickly as he climbed on the deck of the Allison as the motor overreved.By the time he got on plane,I was gone. But shortly I looked behind and here he comes,blew by me with at least 20 mph on me. He didn't stop,just kept going,I went back to the launch as my friends tried to figure out what happened.I found out years later what had happened.He had a very rare Evinrude factory race motor with a race lower unit like a SSM Merc,no gearshift,no shift cable.I see him at our Bham Boat Show every year,nearly 40 years later,and we still laugh about how he conned me.He still has the boat and race motor,hasn't run it in years,but I have a surprise for him this year.My 1968 Switzer/135 Merc/SSM lower, may be a match for his old Ally. Can you imagine,2 old guys,2 old boats,and a grudge match from 40 years ago? Stay tuned.
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That's good stuff. You gotta get some one to film it! :03:
 
Perlmudder said:
so how did a school bus get into the river?!
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It was probably the truck we all used to hit. Went through the ice. Mind you... this water varies in depth from 2" to 5' max, but it is mostly mud. Mud and the occasional surprise. Like a 55 gallon barrel or a truck tire. Or... the whole truck. When the wind starts blowing hard from the south west in the late fall all the water tips to the Buffalo side of the saucer and you can see the bottom like an extended low tide.

There is a ramp nearby (here's where it becomes a ramp story) and it looks like there is plenty of water, but there is a submerged pile of rocks between the ramp and the channel, running along side and basically protecting the channel. You can always tell the newbies who launch and take a straight heading directly for the rock pile. Their last thought before "did I just remove the drive from the boat" is usually "what are all those birds standing on?" It's usually at the very least, a skeg remover.
 
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Magicfloat said:
About 1970 or so I had what I thought was the fastest boat on the river,a 15' Checkmate/135 Merc. Now remember,this was a long time ago,and on the river,in-line 6 Mercs ruled.I ran low-mid 60's,enough to beat the guys that came to the launch every weekend. One Sunday,a new boat came to the launch.It was an Allison( feared by most of us),but had a V-4 Evinrude (a joke to most of us)He shut off his motor and coasted into the dock by the launch. He said his shift cable had just broken,he had no neutral or reverse,but would like to race. We started out.I planed off quickly as he climbed on the deck of the Allison as the motor overreved.By the time he got on plane,I was gone. But shortly I looked behind and here he comes,blew by me with at least 20 mph on me. He didn't stop,just kept going,I went back to the launch as my friends tried to figure out what happened.I found out years later what had happened.He had a very rare Evinrude factory race motor with a race lower unit like a SSM Merc,no gearshift,no shift cable.I see him at our Bham Boat Show every year,nearly 40 years later,and we still laugh about how he conned me.He still has the boat and race motor,hasn't run it in years,but I have a surprise for him this year.My 1968 Switzer/125 Merc/SSM lower, may be a match for his old Ally. Can you imagine,2 old guys,2 old boats,and a grudge match from 40 years ago? Stay tuned.
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that is so COOL!.......post pics

T2x would be all over that one for sure.......

Dont be surprised if Tripple Didgits shows up though.....:ack2:
 
fund razor said:
There is a ramp nearby (here's where it becomes a ramp story) and it looks like there is plenty of water, but there is a submerged pile of rocks between the ramp and the channel, running along side and basically protecting the channel. You can always tell the newbies who launch and take a straight heading directly for the rock pile. Their last thought before "did I just remove the drive from the boat" is usually "what are all those birds standing on?" It's usually at the very least, a skeg remover.
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thats sorta what our ramp is like. you gadda head real wide around the rock pier otherwise bye bye lower unit! you can always tell the newbs just like you said!
 
I once was halfway up the ramp with my 6 cyl inboard still running, I did not care , I had a boatload of strippers. some guy on the ramp was yelling at me before I noticed , and it was loud.:)
 
I always launched by myself, I had a routine and did not want any help as it would get me out of order, so I was taking some friends out for a lunch cruise ,they all had boats so they helped and we missed taking the bow hook off , so I am sitting there gunning the motor and moving the whole truck and trailer ,yelling bump it once, after about 2 minutes by buddy says hold it, we are still tied on, couple of really drunk fisherman say "first boat huh?" but then he stumbled off the dock and into the water, and my buddy says "first dock huh?" it was priceless:26:
 
A local boat fixer/hauler comes to our marina one night to pick up a customer's Formula 419. I don't think I ever saw this thing run all three engines at the same time. So he has his gal pal in the truck, and idles this beast to the ramp on one or two engines. Well, the trailer is up too far and the boat doesn't have enough to push up on it so he yells for the girl to back up some. She comes back a little, still no luck. He yells again, a little more, still no love. Now he really yells BACK IT UP. So all three axles fall off the end of the ramp, the boat is forced back into the pilings behind it, and the trailer rails are stuck hard on the end of the ramp. The truck wouldn't pull the empty trailer up, two trucks couldn't do it, nada. Finally they call a diver to put air bags under the back of the trailer and float it enough to clear the ramp.
 
Skiing in 6" of water.

Not really a dock story, but funny. (wasn't funny at the time)
I'm sure lot of you done your share of water skiing.
Back in the 70's, a bunch of us just ripped up the Rock. Many of us wre the Rvier Rat group and the Rock Riv. Ski Bronks. My buddy is driving my 16' Hustler. When you stop skiing or there is a wipe out, no prob, boat turns around and get yaaa.
No wipe out this time.. Doing a good clip on the EP Honeycomb Comp. I just making the turns and cuts and the high sprays, trying to get the spray above a bridge. (the good ole' silly days)
All of the sudden I pass my boat. The boat just stopped on a sand bar. Motor still runing, making a higher spray than I was. No more pull, I coast to a stop, and did not sink. Now I'm standing in 6" of water, ski on my shoulder walking to my boat, with a look that would melt the North Pole. I got a picture of this somewhere, me walking to the boat. (got to find it)
Priceles seen.
 
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