Eat and drink? You mean Key West has food? Who knew.
Here are your crucial watering holes, in the order in which they should be visited, starting at 6 p.m.:
1. Hog's Breath Saloon—Good starter bar, lower profile and out of the Duvall madness. Good place to formulate an evening game plan.
2. Sloppy Joe's—Can be tough to get the attention of the bartenders, but tip big out of the gate and you're good to go. Loud, crowded and just what you need.
3. Irish Kevin's—By now you're feelin' it, so why do a little singing (OK, yelling)?
4. The Red Garter—Where else can you get a slice of pizza and a lap dance in one stop?
By now it's close to 4 a.m. You should go to bed. After all, the first offshore race starts in seven hours.