Wednesday Witticisms

[Ratickle]

The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.

If you smoke after sex, you're doing it too fast.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.

Good girls get fat, bad girls get eaten.

We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.

Born free... taxed to death.

The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.

Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

 

[Ratickle]

A cat almost always blinks when hit in the head with a ball peen hammer.

There's too much blood in my alcohol system.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.

WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

If you can read this, I've lost my trailer.

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.

I got a gun for my wife, best trade I've ever made.

 

[Ratickle]

So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute!

Anyone can give up smoking, but it takes a real man to face cancer.

If, a two letter word for futility

I don't care, I don't have to.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

To all you virgins, thanks for nothing.

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

Horn broken, watch for finger.

All men are idiots ... I married their king.

The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.

My kid had sex with your honor student.




:sifone:

 

[rschap1]

 

[old377guy]

I need some of those bumper stickers! There is a lot of new material there for sure.:sifone:

 

[Donskihp]

A cat almost always blinks when hit in the head with a ball peen hammer.

How do we know this? My wife has a cat, I could be in the dog house a long time with this theory!

 

[Ratickle]

We have 6 cats at home (all strays she's saved).

My wife would hit me with the ballpeen hammer for even posting it.....

 

[Ratickle]

I think of hte list my favorite is the "My kid had sex with your honor student"......


I was going to post three sets of 10 each, but had to get to that one.....

 

[JJ Apache]

My wife would hit me with the ballpeen hammer for even posting it.....[/QUOTE]

:reddevil: