Bobcat
Founding Member
EDEN PRAIRIE, Minn. – Following his firing Monday, former Minnesota Vikings Head Coach Brad Childress turned heads by challenging Minnesota Quarterback Brett Favre to a knife fight.
“It’s nothing personal, I just think it’s time he felt my blade,” Childress said to reporters. “Brett’s all big and bad on the football field but let’s see how he handles himself in close quarters blood combat.”
Many believe that the fragmented relationship between Quarterback and Head Coach led to the locker room revolt which ultimately sealed Childress’ fate in Minnesota. Childress claims that only way to move past those feelings is mutual bloodshed.
“The bad blood drips on the ground and purifies your soul,” said Childress as he sharpened a large Bowie knife. “I think both me and Brett need this release to move forward in our careers.”
When reached for comment regarding the proposed blade battle, Favre seemed non-committal.
“I can’t say that I’ll knife fight him, and I can’t say that I won’t. It all depends on how my body feels.”
Childress stated that although Favre was first and foremost on his knife fight list, there were more players that could potentially be challenged in the coming days.
“To be honest with you, anyone can get it at this point.” Childress said. “There’s really not a player on the team that I wouldn’t mind taking a piece out of, especially all those unnamed snitches in the locker room.”
The disgraced Head Coach was very specific when asked about the details of a proposed knife fight.
“It’ll be Michael Jackson Beat It style madness with a little Jamaican jungle rumble thrown in. Guys with dreds everywhere beating on reggae drums while my right arm is tied to Brett’s. We stand against each other until one man falls. The end.”
Asked how he thought maiming a high profile player would affect his future relationship with the NFL, Childress looked directly into a television camera and quoted the late Tupac Shakur.
“It’s not about me and the NFL. It’s about *****s and bitches, power and money, riders and punks, which side or you on?”
“It’s nothing personal, I just think it’s time he felt my blade,” Childress said to reporters. “Brett’s all big and bad on the football field but let’s see how he handles himself in close quarters blood combat.”
Many believe that the fragmented relationship between Quarterback and Head Coach led to the locker room revolt which ultimately sealed Childress’ fate in Minnesota. Childress claims that only way to move past those feelings is mutual bloodshed.
“The bad blood drips on the ground and purifies your soul,” said Childress as he sharpened a large Bowie knife. “I think both me and Brett need this release to move forward in our careers.”
When reached for comment regarding the proposed blade battle, Favre seemed non-committal.
“I can’t say that I’ll knife fight him, and I can’t say that I won’t. It all depends on how my body feels.”
Childress stated that although Favre was first and foremost on his knife fight list, there were more players that could potentially be challenged in the coming days.
“To be honest with you, anyone can get it at this point.” Childress said. “There’s really not a player on the team that I wouldn’t mind taking a piece out of, especially all those unnamed snitches in the locker room.”
The disgraced Head Coach was very specific when asked about the details of a proposed knife fight.
“It’ll be Michael Jackson Beat It style madness with a little Jamaican jungle rumble thrown in. Guys with dreds everywhere beating on reggae drums while my right arm is tied to Brett’s. We stand against each other until one man falls. The end.”
Asked how he thought maiming a high profile player would affect his future relationship with the NFL, Childress looked directly into a television camera and quoted the late Tupac Shakur.
“It’s not about me and the NFL. It’s about *****s and bitches, power and money, riders and punks, which side or you on?”
