Friday Funnies

Ratickle

Founding Member / Super Moderator
THE QUESTION:

Over a generation ago, in 1923, who was:

1. President of the largest steel company?
2. President of the largest gas company?
3. President of the New York Stock Exchange?
4. Greatest wheat speculator?
5. President of the Bank of International Settlement?
6. Great Bear of Wall Street?

These men were considered some of the world's most successful of their day.
Now, 90 years later, what ultimately became of them?

THE ANSWER:

1. The president of the largest steel company (Bethlehem Steel), Charles M. Schwab, died a pauper.
2. The president of the largest gas company, Edward Hopson, went insane.
3. The president of the New York Stock Exchange, Richard Whitney, was released from prison to die at home.
4. The greatest wheat speculator, Arthur Cooger, died abroad, penniless.
5. The president of the Bank of International Settlement, shot himself.
6. The Great Bear of Wall Street, Cosabee Livermore, also committed suicide.

However:
In the same year, 1923, the PGA Champion and the winner of the most important golf tournament, the US Open, was Gene Sarazen.

What became of him?
He played golf until he was 92, died in 1999 at the age of 95. He was financially secure at the time of his death.

THE MORAL: Screw work. Play golf. You'll live longer and be better off in the end.:hurray:
 
Emergency Room

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A man staggers into an emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes and a five iron wrapped around his neck. Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened.

"Well," the man says, "it's like this; I was playing a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a pasture of cows. We went to look for them, and while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the cows had something white on its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it--stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. That's when I made my big mistake."

"What did you do?" the doctor asks.

"Well." the man replies, "I lifted the cow's tail and yelled to my wife,
'Hey, this looks like yours!' I don't remember much after that.":rofl:
 
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