Any family law experts on here?

[Shah Mat]

My daughter will be turning 18 in four months. She and her mom are locking horns and I feel like I should do something. I have tried to talk to her mom and my daughter to make their relationship better but it works for a few days and goes sour again. My daughter is a good kid. She is a senior in HS, does well in school, has a job, plays sports, and respects her curfew. I have listened in on some of the phone conversations with her mom and I actually feel sorry for my daughter. Seems like her mom has become a control freak with our kid. My daughter's schoolwork is starting to suffer. From what I can see there is no disciplinary problems at mom's house and I don't have any at mine. Now her mom is starting to lash out at me, blaming me for some of the problems. FWIW, we split in 1996 and have remained very civil ever since.

Her mom and I have shared custody with the primary residence being with mom. We have 50/50 visitation and pretty much stick to the schedule.

My kid wants to live with me asap.

The court order that has been in place since 2004 has no mention what so ever of the duration of it's effect. (1) Can my daughter decide where she wants to live when she turns 18, or is the order effective until she finishes HS? (2) Should I contact my lawyer and seek the court's consideration now? If I do her mom will fight me.

 

[cigdaze]

Every state's different and every court order has its specifics. Look yours up and see what it says. I have a friend here in FL who has a 20-year old daughter still in high school (she's a flunkie, got left back a couple times) and he's still on the hook for child support. I believe in most states the child must finish high school or turn 18 (whichever comes later). Only after are they on their own.

 

[Ratickle]

Might I suggest, for a possibility, a meeting with a family counselor, or college counselor, with all three of you at the same time? I firmly believe that one of the reasons your daughter has done so well is the ability you and your ex have shown to have a cordial relationship for the well-being of your daughter. And that her just leaving, will not help long term, only short term.

Just a thought.

 

[sledge]

Mom is having major empty nest syndrome; she needs something else to distract her.

Call your lawyer and have him explain what the terms of the agreement are so you're informed; unless there was very serious physical or emotional risk it's unlikely it would be worth the trouble to change it at this late stage.

Is it possible that something happened that neither of them really want to share with you (just keeping it between the women), but could make mom turn control freak?

Otherwise this sounds just like regular teen vs parent angst and the kid is ready to get out of the nest. Totally normal as long as it doesn't escalate and the grades don't suffer.

 

[Wobble]

try this

http://www.childcustody.net/24.html

 

[Chris]

It's going to take more time and money than it's probably worth. She'll be 18 and an adult before you get resolution via the court. I would talk to your daughter and tell her this isn't going to be the most challenging thing she's ever going to attempt and that if her mother can't be an adult, this is a good time for her to begin learning herself. You should remind her that her schoolwork and her performance over these next few monts is important to her college career and that moving now is going to cause more upset- both educationally and socially- than toughing it out with Mom.

If you have to do something it shouldn't be a big issue- at her age, the court places substantial weight on her desires.

Keep in mind, this woman she lives with now is going to be her mother for the rest of her life. Even after this stuff is long gone and forgotten. Is this the one she wants to go to the mat on?

 

[Spicy]

It's going to take more time and money than it's probably worth. She'll be 18 and an adult before you get resolution via the court. I would talk to your daughter and tell her this isn't going to be the most challenging thing she's ever going to attempt and that if her mother can't be an adult, this is a good time for her to begin learning herself. You should remind her that her schoolwork and her performance over these next few monts is important to her college career and that moving now is going to cause more upset- both educationally and socially- than toughing it out with Mom.

If you have to do something it shouldn't be a big issue- at her age, the court places substantial weight on her desires.

Keep in mind, this woman she lives with now is going to be her mother for the rest of her life. Even after this stuff is long gone and forgotten. Is this the one she wants to go to the mat on?

Very Well said..... I agree 100%

 

[X-Rated30]

I have yet to see a state that the age of majority is more than 18. She can live with whomever she wants at that point. Support payments are completely different and can go on much longer. That doesn't seem to apply here.

 

[Smarty]

I am not a family law expert but I am an attorney in NJ; the advice given so far is good. Call your existing attorney, get VA rules on changed circustances other than financial for the court to hear this matter. We have a whole set of considerations for changed circumstances (best intertest of the child standard), and with custody comes a change in child-support typically. Each state court system(s) has its' own nuances and rules.

I realize I have been zero help to you in this post. Bottomline, call your VA lawyer for VA legal advice it will be VA specific. Then you will have to make a decision on how to proceed once the VA lawyer can identify the cost, time-table for getting a hearing and a decision; and the likelihood of your ex fighting you on this change. You can get this done, it is very possible, if this is what you and the child want.

 

[Offshoredrillin]

My cousin went through the same thing and his son came from PA to MD when he was 15. Your daughter can legally come live with you immediately if she wants. While not 18, she is more than capable to speak for herself and no court in the world would stand in the way of a good kid trying to better their life. My cousins ex tried everything, even calling the judge in person, but they left it up to the son, he said I want to live with my dad, the courts said ok.

Now thats not to say the mother wont go nuts, she may, but they will take your daughters word over everyone's.

 

[Wobble]

I have yet to see a state that the age of majority is more than 18. She can live with whomever she wants at that point. Support payments are completely different and can go on much longer. That doesn't seem to apply here.

Age of Majority by State

State Age of Majority
Alabama 19
Alaska 18
Arizona 18
Arkansas 18 or graduation from high school, whichever is later
California 18
Colorado 18
Connecticut 18
Delaware 19
District of Columbia 18
Florida 18
Georgia 18
Hawaii 18
Idaho 18
Illinois 18
Indiana 18
Iowa 18
Kansas 18
Kentucky 18
Louisiana 18
Maine 18
Maryland 18
Massachusetts 18
Michigan 18
Minnesota 18
Missouri 18
Mississippi 21
Montana 18
Nebraska 19
New Hampshire 18
New Mexico 18
Nevada 18, or if still in high school at 18, 19 or graduation, whichever comes sooner
New Jersy 18
New York 18
North Carolina 18
North Dakota 18
Ohio 18 or graduation from high school, whichever comes first
Oklahoma 18
Oregon 18
Pennsylvania 18
Rhode Island 18
South Carolina 18
South Dakota 18
Tennessee 18 or graduation from high school, whichever is later
Texas 18
Utah 18 or graduation from high school, whichever is earlier
Vermont 18
Virginia 18 or graduation from high school, whichever is latest
Washington 18
West Virginia 18
Wisconsin 18, or if still in high school at 18, 19 or graduation, whichever comes sooner
Wyoming 18

 

[Wrinkleface]

hire hit out on ex, problem solved!!!!!:beatdeadhorse5::dupe::biggrinjester:

 

[JupiterSunsation]

Age of Majority by State

State Age of Majority
Alabama 19
Alaska 18
Arizona 18
Arkansas 18 or graduation from high school, whichever is later
California 18
Colorado 18
Connecticut 18
Delaware 19
District of Columbia 18
Florida 18
Georgia 18
Hawaii 18
Idaho 18
Illinois 18
Indiana 18
Iowa 18
Kansas 18
Kentucky 18
Louisiana 18
Maine 18
Maryland 18
Massachusetts 18
Michigan 18
Minnesota 18
Missouri 18
Mississippi 21
Montana 18
Nebraska 19
New Hampshire 18
New Mexico 18
Nevada 18, or if still in high school at 18, 19 or graduation, whichever comes sooner
New Jersy 18
New York 18
North Carolina 18
North Dakota 18
Ohio 18 or graduation from high school, whichever comes first
Oklahoma 18
Oregon 18
Pennsylvania 18
Rhode Island 18
South Carolina 18
South Dakota 18
Tennessee 18 or graduation from high school, whichever is later
Texas 18
Utah 18 or graduation from high school, whichever is earlier
Vermont 18
Virginia 18 or graduation from high school, whichever is latest
Washington 18
West Virginia 18
Wisconsin 18, or if still in high school at 18, 19 or graduation, whichever comes sooner
Wyoming 18

Arkansas has a flaw in their law...... You only become an adult IF you graduate from High School? Law said whichever is later......so 35 and no graduation means you still are not of the age of majority!

 

[HiZ]

I say talk to her and let her make the decision and let her talk with your ex
I guess I am nothing at this game as I have no kids and am still a young pup to some
But, yes I say Do that talk with her let her become assertie and talk with Mom to move to a motion of making a decision. And then see where that goes.
I don't know I am just babbling, and I suppose that my point is legal battles and BS most likely will not be solved before or help you little girl prior to when she can make the move on her own!